My realtor and I drove to the first house, a more modern house than I’d prefer. I got my first look at engineered hardwood, which I had never heard of (not a fan). Other than the flooring, the first thing I noticed was an awkward angle in the living room. Why did they build it like that? I’ll never know.

The kitchen was nice: wooden cupboards, plenty of space and light, marred only by characterless modern shelving in a recessed pantry area. This motif was repeated in a bedroom closet. The bathrooms had lovely sinks mounted in beautiful wooden tables, but no closets or medicine cabinets. I do not want to display every item that belongs in a bathroom.

The backyard was large and steep, leading to an alley. I could not walk down the exit stairs, which had no railing.

The picture that house left in my mind was the awkward living room wall, with seven houses to come.

House number two looked like a contemporary house from the outside, all sharp planes and picture windows. The realtor had trouble opening the door. When he got it open, the first thing we saw was cracked yellow linoleum. The house turned out to be an older house, facade notwithstanding, with dated wallpaper, hideous carpets and the first wood-paneled bathroom I’ve ever seen. Why would you put wood paneling in a bathroom?

I tried to find some positives in house number two, but, at this remove, I can’t remember them. It required more fixing up and ripping out than I had hoped to tackle.

I think the third house I saw was the one where the layout reminded me of my maternal grandmother’s house in El Cerrito, California. The front door opened onto the living room. The steps up to the front door needed a railing — I had to put a hand down to crab-crawl up them. The house had small bedrooms without closets: I would have to buy wardrobes for clothes storage. The yards had possibilities. The house’s best feature was that it was a short walk to the public library.

I saw a small Craftsman cottage that my cousin had found on Zillow. It featured a porch swing, good windows and light and the ugliest fireplace surround I have seen to date, a white and gold geometric pattern that my realtor said dated to the 1970s. There are lots of things about the ’70s I do not care to remember. Still, if I ripped that out and replaced some flooring, this house was the most promising yet.

House #5 was a larger Craftsman with its original living room intact, all built-in cabinets, hardwood flooring and multi-paned windows, an original front door with stained glass. The yard was beautifully landscaped as well. It’s “bones” were good and I suppose I could have camped in the lovely living room while repainting, stripping wallpaper, pulling up shag carpeting. This house ended up being my second favorite.

I saw two more houses. I can’t remember the order in which I saw them. One had a nice kitchen with some wooden features and a water view. The main bedroom could be instantly improved by painting the wooden ceiling white. The owners had mulched their front yard with wood chips, which made it look better than all of the dying lawns Port Angeles features in late August.

The other house did not look promising from its photo, a bit like a fairy tale cottage with its peaked roof and arched door. When we stepped inside, however, it was in move-in condition. I liked everything from the table in the breakfast nook to the staging in the kitchen, the cabinet pulls, the flooring. It even had a water view. If I could have written a check that day, I would have wanted to buy it, even though I had doubts about its distance from downtown. Alas, others felt that way because a sale was pending within 48 hours (I had seen the house just after it was listed).

None of the houses I saw felt walkable to me, in terms of their proximity to the business district: I couldn’t have known without visiting that Port Angeles did not have housing downtown: there are expensive houses up on the bluff above the businesses, reached by a steep wooden stairway, a car, or perhaps ropes and pitons.

After touring seven houses I felt weary and discouraged. I wasn’t sure I would be able to remember the features of each house, even with the aid of photos. Which house had the narrow, steep staircase to the second floor? Which one had the bedroom turned into a comfortable office? Could I get to a grocery store from the one otherwise perfect house?

As I pondered these questions, lying on my bed in my motel room, I learned that my old friend Carol was arriving. I opened up the room and went to greet her, showed her to her room in my unit. Although she had driven from St Helens, Oregon, she was eager to drive to town to begin to tour the highlights. I directed her to the menu of the Hook and Line Pub with its Louisiana-style Po’ Boys, gumbo and fish ‘n’ chips.

“Looks good,” she said, and we drove off. She had a bowl of gumbo and I had a delicious shrimp po’ boy. I asked our waitress where to find the strongest coffee in town.

“I don’t drink coffee,” she said. What is it with the servers in this town? Fortunately, a young woman picking up a to-go order gave us the coffee scoop we needed. We ended up with very good coffee, but not before we spent some time browsing in Port Book and News where I bantered with the clerk over the Trump mug shot while he found me a copy of The Lost Journals of Sacajawea by Debra Magpie Earling. The shop had wonderful gift items, too, including stuffed Audubon bird toys that made the birds’ calls when you squeezed them. I wanted to buy the loon, but restrained myself. I bought a box of cards instead. I would be happy to have Port Book and News as my hometown bookstore.

I longed to buy art supplies: because I had focused on having adequate water for my train trips and adequate clothing for hot weather and possible rain, I had not added watercolor pencils and paper to my heavy day pack. I missed them and would have had hours to sketch woods and waterways from the train. Next time.

Carol and I flunked an assignment from our zen and writing teacher. I had promised her we would visit Raymond Carver’s Port Angeles grave, but, after our afternoon coffee, I learned that the cemetery closed at 4:30 on Friday and would be closed all weekend. Oh well. I guess we’ll have to come back.

Our next destination has me scheming to come back as soon as I can for as long as I can.

To be continued.

I am sitting at my friend Carol’s dining room table in her 90-year-old farmhouse in St. Helen’s, Oregon. I notice the broad plank stairs leading to her deck off the kitchen: broad treads, low risers. I notice that her shower in the upstairs bathroom has a seat molded into it, handy to wash between my toes, and that the vanity is large and attractive. I notice the wainscoting on the bathroom walls and wonder if Carol chose the salmon pink (I don’t think so…). The bathroom is spacious, particularly after the compact motel bathroom that I had for two nights in Port Angeles to the north. Carol’s bathroom feels like a room, not an afterthought, although I liked the small white pedestal sink in the bathroom of room six at the Travelers Motel.

In the kitchen, the paring knife I pull out to cut a pear from Carol’s tree is sharp, as it should be. I am pleased. I admire two curved wooden stools at the central island.

I have been traveling since Tuesday night, first by train, then by private car, to reach Port Angeles, Washington, which looked like somewhere I might want to move after my elderly mother dies. I was attracted by the location, the year-round farmers market, the amenities (bookstores, restaurants). It has a hospital, a post office, a courthouse. You can get in or out of there by bus, ferry or rail (I don’t drive). So I made contact with a realtor who used to live in California, persuaded my first cousin to stay with my mother for a week, and made an Amtrak reservation.

I left the train in Olympia and stayed the night with a member of a writing group I belong to on Zoom. She, her husband and I drove to Seattle the next day to pick up another writer from our group and we all made our way to Port Angeles by car ferry and highway.

After dinner — finding an open restaurant that could serve us was an adventure in itself — my friends dropped me off at my motel and departed for Sequim and Victoria, B.C.

I had chosen my motel based on some online photos and a description. It looked like I might be able to walk to town from there. Although we drove from downtown Port Angeles to the motel and back twice, that was not enough to orient me, and although I had seen nearby businesses (a bank, a furniture store) I had not seen a restaurant or a grocery store in the vicinity of the motel.

I had a 9:15 appointment with my realtor the next morning and found myself wondering where in hell I could get breakfast on foot in time to get back to the motel in time. I started to feel like I had made a mistake — the town did not seem walkable to me. Friends recommended Google maps and, after a long while, I managed to establish that I might be able to walk to Chestnut Cottage, a restaurant I had earmarked for a breakfast visit sometime during my stay. I lay my head on the pillow after 11:30 and woke at 5:00 AM after a sound, exhausted sleep.

I showered, washed my long gray hair and put on my best approximation of conventional clothing (black jeans, tank top, white gauze shirt, quilted jacket and spangled chartreuse billed cap) suitable for hot weather. I can manage to look slightly more respectable in the winter with the aid of long-sleeved T-shirts, wool berets, crew neck cashmere sweaters and fleece vests, but my summer wardrobe is sparse: I had bought two white gauze shirts the day before I left California from the Good Will and from an East Asian store in Berkeley.

I wrote down brief directions on a piece of paper: left on North Chambers Street, right on East Front, a “fifteen-minute walk.” I added some time because I am a slow walker and because I didn’t know exactly where I was going and headed out in what I thought was the right direction.

I passed a storefront selling salmon jerky, a shuttered bank, various forms of lodging. I saw fast food restaurants in the distance and hoped I wouldn’t have to settle for one before my first stint of house tours. I saw a doe and fawn in a steep grassy yard and some beautiful morning clouds in a blue sky. What I didn’t see was N. Chambers St.

After walking for at least fifteen minutes I concluded that I might have set off in the wrong direction so I turned around and started walking back the way I came. As I passed the jerky joint I saw a woman getting into her car. Hurrying my steps I asked if I could ask her a question.

“Yes,” she said.

“If I keep walking this way, will I get to North Chambers Street?”

“Yes.”

Relieved, I continued past my motel, found my turns and walked on deserted streets alongside Highway 101 aka E. Front St. I saw Chestnut Cottage, waited until all of the cars had passed and crossed the street.

The wooden door gave onto a foyer and a large dining room lined with booths with wooden tables in the center. Perhaps half a dozen people were eating or anticipating breakfast. A waitress led me to a large booth, set down a pint glass of ice water and asked if she could get me a beverage.

“Coffee, please.”

“Medium or dark roast?”

“Dark.”

I drank ice water and read the large menu. I was hungry after my early start and long walk in the beginning of the day’s heat. I ordered an extravagant meal of French toast stuffed with lemon curd. It came on a platter scattered with fresh blueberries, covered with generous mounds of whipped cream. Someone had dusted the slices with powdered sugar and an incongruous pitcher of syrup sat on the edge of the plate.

Really?

Ignoring the syrup, I cut into the most delicious French toast I have ever tasted, pushing aside some of the blanket of cream and spearing a blueberry in every bite. I ate slowly, finished my pint of water and my first cup of coffee, savoring the lemony cream, the soft bread, the tart fruit. I drank my way through another full pint of water and then asked for a box for my remaining French toast. I quizzed the waitress about the strongest coffee in town, but she was not a coffee drinker. I also established that the house-made cinnamon roll was iced with a brown sugar-butter combo and that it was yeast-risen. I bought one to go before leaving.

Back at my motel I brushed my hair, checked the time, and tried to recharge my camera, not knowing whether photos were permissible in the houses. At 9:15 I stepped outside my door, greeted my approaching agent and hoisted myself into his high-mounted truck.

“We have seven properties to see,” he said, handing me a sheaf of paper and a Port Angeles map.

To be continued.

This post is a throwback to my old style of blogging when I posted recipes each week. As I mentioned recently, I am doing a lot of cooking these days, just to get three meals on the table and to provide food that my aged mother might eat.

The hit of the summer has been a simple fruit crisp. I make it with whatever stone fruit is languishing here: I’ve used cherries in every one, along with white or yellow nectarines, peaches, apricots that are too mushy to eat out of hand. You can use plums if you like them (I don’t, but if someone gives me plums or pluots they are probably going into fruit crisp). You can supplement with frozen fruit or canned fruit as stone fruit season fades, but it is glorious right now made with fresh fruit.

Here is how I make it:

I get out an 8″ x 8″ Pyrex pan and make sure the middle rack in my oven is available. I assemble all eligible fruit on the counter by the cutting board, giving cherries a quick rinse in a bowl of water. Keep that bowl handy — you will use it again.

I put the 8″ x 8″ pan on the counter and start slicing fruit into it. I start with cherries, halving them, removing the pit with my thumb and dropping the halves into the pan. When I have used up whatever cherries I have, I cut up nectarines, apricots or peaches into the same pan, in chunks or wedges — it doesn’t matter. I do this until the pan is three-quarters full of fruit — I don’t measure the fruit: if you don’t have enough, you can add a can of sour cherries or peach slices or apricots, or some handy frozen fruit.

When I have cut up all of the fruit I turn the oven on to 375 degrees F. While it heats, I make the topping.

I empty the cherry-washing water into our waste-water bowl. I take the now empty, damp bowl and add

1/2 cup rolled oats

1/2 cup almond flour

1 Tbsp unbleached flour

2/3 cup brown sugar

Dashes of cinnamon and freshly-grated nutmeg. Sometimes a dash of ginger.

Using a pastry blender, I cut in 1/3 cup unsalted butter. That I measure using the handy-dandy guide on the butter wrapper. I blend the butter and dry ingredients until the topping looks uniformly crumbly. I drop the topping by large handfuls on top of the fruit, trying to cover the whole top. It always works — this is an easy recipe.

Carry your assembled crisp to the preheated oven. Bake on the middle rack for 35-45 minutes, depending on how much browning you like: we like ours brown.

Some notes: I use almond flour here because I think the flavor enhances stone fruit and also because it adds a bit of protein to dessert. You can use white or whole wheat flour instead if you like. I add the tablespoon of unbleached flour for binding the topping — you may not need it. I use unsalted butter because that is what we buy. I like cinnamon and nutmeg with fruit. I also like ginger. I haven’t tried cardamom, but it’s only a matter of time.

For me, the level of sweetness in this crisp is ideal. You don’t have to sweeten the fruit because some of the topping sifts down during baking and does it for you. Similarly, the topping thickens the juices. I like the crisp warm or cold. I usually eat it plain, but you could eat it with ice cream, whipped cream, yogurt. I’ve been known to reheat it topped with milk in the microwave, or stir a serving into oats as I cook them. If you like fruit desserts, give it a try.

Just a reminder: I still have openings in my July 15-16 Natalie Goldberg-style writing practice retreat, so, if your idea of a treat is two days devoted to writing, reading aloud and meditation, please consider joining us for $80.00 USD. I also welcome new students to my ongoing Monday AM Practice Group for either July 10, 17, 24 and 31 or August 7, 14, 21 and 28. Each four-week session costs $100.00 USD payable via PayPal at PayPal.Me/yourbusker. Yes, you can sign up for both July and August and the retreat as well if you are hot to write this summer. And no one says you can’t eat stone fruit crisp during your meal breaks!

Dear Writers,

Here is the schedule for my upcoming writing practice retreat, which will take place between 7 AM and 3 PM Pacific Time on July 15-16, 2023.

All times are given in Pacific Time.

7:00 AM – 7:30 AM Sitting Meditation

7:30 AM – 8:30 AM Break

8:30 AM – 11:00 AM Writing, Reading Aloud

11:00 – 12:00 Break

12:00 PM – 2:00 PM Walking, Writing, Reading

2:00 PM – 2:30 PM Break

2:30 PM – 3:00 PM Sitting meditation

Cost: $80.00 USD. Payable via PayPal at: PayPal.Me/yourbusker. Please make payment by 7 AM Pacific on July 14, 2023.

Questions? Please ask in the comment field.

Dear Readers,

I can’t believe it has been nearly six months since I have written to you. I’d like to offer you an explanation and an update. Remember that part of my subtitle is “transformation.”

I stopped writing Johnny Harper stories. I’m not saying I’ll never write one again. It was useful writing Johnny and Sharyn stories in the aftermath of his death. It kept me connected to his community and helped all of us grieve.

But, as I mentioned once, I am currently the sole caretaker for my elderly mother, who is undergoing cancer treatment. In the last five months she has aged about ten years and my duties have increased considerably in that time.

Ironically, The Kale Chronicles began as a recipe blog and I am now cooking up to three meals a day, but I do not have time to blog about food between shopping for it, making it, serving it and cleaning the kitchen. We eat fairly simply. I still shop at the farmers market and Grocery Outlet. Today I made these lovely lemon ricotta pancakes from the New York Times and served them with fresh raspberries. https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1022931-lemon-ricotta-pancakes? For lunch we had leftover lasagna and I don’t know yet what is for dinner tonight.

Anyway, one of the things I have managed to keep doing over the last two years is teaching Natalie Goldberg’s writing practice on Zoom. My flagship group, the Monday AM Practice Group, meets Monday mornings from 9:00 AM to 10:30 AM Pacific Time. We spend our first ten minutes in silent zen-style meditation and go on to write and read aloud to each other without commenting on each other’s work.

I am a dharma heir of Natalie’s and have studied with her twenty-three years straight: I have a good grounding in writing practice, shelves of filled notebooks and two years teaching experience. I enjoy teaching, and appreciate my students and their dedication to the practice.

If you, too, would like to engage in writing practice, I have openings for two four-week sessions:

July 10, 17, 24 and 31, 2023. Registration deadline; Friday July 7, 6 PM Pacific

August 7, 14, 21, and 28, 2023. Registration deadline: Friday August 4, 6 PM Pacific

Each four-week session costs $100.00 USD. You may sign up for either or both summer sessions.

For your fees you get 1) Membership in an ongoing established writing practice group 2) My considerable experience with aspects of writing practice 3) Weekly summaries of what we did in class 4) Weekly suggested writing topics and other optional writing assignments.

If you have been writing and could use a concentrated weekend of sitting meditation, writing practice and reading aloud, you might want to sign up for a Writing Practice Retreat on July 15-16, fees and hours TBA (Watch for an announcement next Friday, June 23).

Meanwhile, stop chewing your pen. Bring it to your notebook and keep your hand moving. Write whatever comes into your head. No good. No bad. No censorship. No rules about grammar or spelling at this stage. In writing practice, we begin again every time and our goal is to record the first thoughts in our mind, to get on the page our memories, sensations, feelings, stories — whatever is foremost in our mind at the time of writing.

A writing topic (Some people call them “prompts,” but Natalie prefers the weightier and broader term “topic”) is a jumping-off point, a place to start. You might start with “I’m looking at…” or “A day in June” or “My mother’s purse.” Then go wherever your mind goes, trusting and accepting that writing will get you where you need to go.

Do you have questions? Comment away and I will answer them. I will also be glad to send you extensive information about the Monday AM Practice Group. Just email me at sharyndimmick@att.net. And if you are ready to sign up for July or August, send me an email to do that.

Thank you for reading. I’m sure I’ll have more stories someday…

Sharyn

Note to readers who follow the Johnny and Sharyn stories: This episode follows chronologically after the episode called “Johnny and Sharyn: Quite the Pair” where we learn that Johnny has injured his feet and I, Sharyn, have fallen and injured my right wrist. It might be helpful for you to reread this to refresh your memory before reading “Medical Appointment.”

After a few weeks of antibiotic cream and a regular soaking regime, Johnny’s feet were still swollen and tender and his skin itched. Despite home treatment and prescribed painkillers, the pain in his feet could keep him awake at night. His friend, Dr. Jeff, recommended that Johnny consult a podiatrist for further treatment. Johnny does not want to go to the doctor, partly because doctor visits are expensive, partly because Johnny prefers to live his life free from the advice of others, and partly because Johnny has a fear of medical procedures. I will come to learn that Johnny, smart and dextrous as he is, is incapable of changing a dressing, or even inserting eye drops in his own eyes. Luckily, he has been blessed with general good health and vigor for most of his sixty-seven years.

I trust Dr. Jeff and so I encourage Johnny to make an appointment with my podiatrist.


“Dr. Hiatt’s a good guy,” I say to Johnny. “He knows what he is doing. He fixed my ankle when no one else could. If you need to see a podiatrist, he’s the one to see. I always tell people with foot problems to go see him.”


“I don’t have insurance.”


“Neither do I, Johnny. He’ll see you anyway. You’ll have to pay out of pocket and there’s a prompt pay discount. You can pay in cash if you want.”


That suited Johnny, who operated with cash as much as possible and often carried lots of bills, meticulously arranged by denomination in his wallet.


“How much will it cost?”

“The initial consultation will be about $100.00, I think.”

“I can pay that,” Johnny says.

“Yes, you can. And you need your feet to get better.”

This is how I met Dr. Hiatt. I had been working as a substitute recreation leader at Willard Park, assigned to help integrate children with disabilities into after school recreational activities. I was supervising an active little girl who loved to run and to climb trees. One day, as I ran across the grass chasing her, I caught my left foot in a hole in the lawn and wrenched the entire foot inward, spraining my left ankle. I hobbled into the Willard Park Clubhouse, sat to fill out an incident report and went home on the bus.

The next time Carl at Willard Park called me for a substitute shift I explained that I could not do it, that my ankle would not permit me to be on my feet for a three-or-four hour shift, that it was still swollen and painful. Carl told me I could still go see a doctor through the City of Berkeley’s Workers’ Comp contractor.

I went down to Alta Bates where I received an x-ray (no fracture) and saw a nurse practitioner. She taught me the basics of sprain care — rest, ice, elevation and compression — and encouraged me to draw the letters of the alphabet with the toes of my left foot. I was dubious about this, given that I have little ability to move my left toes (My entire left foot is affected by cerebral palsy).

“I’ll try,” I said.

Furrowing my brow and looking at my toes, willing them to move, I did my best to draw a capital “A,” “B,” “C.” After I completed the tiny movements I looked at the nurse practitioner.

“Go ahead,” she said.

“I just did it,” I said. “That’s as much as I can do. I have cerebral palsy.”

She blinked.

“I’m not familiar with cerebral palsy,” she said.

Long story short, for the next six years I iced and elevated my left ankle frequently, and often wore an ace bandage wrapped around it. I consulted an orthopedist and got a custom-made brace for it, a plastic orthosis whose edge dug into the back of my calf while the my sore ankle banged against the rigid device whenever I made a movement it was meant to prevent. The swelling went down when I wore the orthosis, but, as soon as I stopped wearing it for any length of time my left ankle swelled to the size of a tangerine. I went through courses of physical therapy and acupuncture as well. I popped ibuprofen tablets like Chiclets, hoping to reduce the inflammation and swelling. Nothing worked: six years after the accident my ankle hurt whenever I walked and was especially painful when I had to walk on a slanted surface or stand for more than half an hour at a time. By this time I had acquired a permanent half-time position as a recreation leader and was required to be on my feet a lot, going on field trips, pushing children in wheelchairs, supervising art projects and taking part in sports. The medical professionals who could not bring me relief said things like “Well, you are getting older” and “Well, you have cerebral palsy.”

I would say in response, “I’ve had cerebral palsy all of my life, but it doesn’t cause pain or swelling. Before I had this accident I could hike, dance, walk four miles. Now I can’t do any of that.”

Eventually I decided I needed to see a sports medicine specialist because sports medicine doctors are dedicated to getting their patients back to their pre-injury condition. A receptionist at a Berkeley acupuncture clinic gave me the number for the Center for Sports Medicine in Walnut Creek. I called and explained that I had an unresolved Workers’ Comp injury, an ankle sprain, and the appointment clerk gave me an appointment to see their foot doc.

Doctor Hiatt was a former basketball player, young, friendly and an excellent listener. I sat on an examination table, telling him the sad tale of my ankle sprain, enumerating all of the things I could not do anymore and all of the things that caused pain. When I finished my recitation, Dr. Hiatt examined both of my feet and ankles, and gently worked my left foot through its limited range of motion. Then he looked up, watching my face as he said, “What if I told you I could make your pain go away and stabilize your ankle?”

I had pursued every treatment anyone suggested while waiting six years to hear those words: when I heard them I started to cry.

Dr. Hiatt had made my left ankle better. After prescribing custom-made orthotics for my shoes, enrolling me in a program of physical therapy and electronic stimulation, after having my nerves tested (all viable), and after an MRI that showed a “mangled and shredded” tendon, Dr. Hiatt received approval for a tendon transfer surgery. He split the tendon that runs by the inside of the foot into three sections, leaving one third of it in place, running another third across the top of my foot and wrapping the last third around the outside of my ankle. After surgery and follow-up physical therapy to restore my strength my ankle was back to normal strength and stability.

Johnny gave me permission to make an appointment for him to see my foot doc at the Center for Sports Medicine in Walnut Creek, a city to the east of San Leandro with a per capita income of $69,000. I usually take public transit to medical appointments, involving a combination of buses, trains, shuttle buses and walking, but Johnny cannot walk at all without pain, so he gets a guitar student to drive him to his appointment. I will meet them at Johnny’s house and go along to provide encouragement and moral support. It is the third week of September and I have not seen Johnny since making a surprise visit to his house in July to check to see if he was still alive after no one had seen him since the end of June.

I watch Johnny hobble down his front step, down the walkway. At the driveway, he supports his weight with an arm on the cyclone fence, crosses slowly to the curb. When I open the car door for him he grabs the outside roof of the car to help lower himself into the passenger seat. I climb into the back seat and sit directly behind him, resting my forearm on the top of the front seat so that he can hold my hand while we drive. Rob parks in the garage beneath the medical center so that we could take an elevator up to the lobby to save Johnny as many steps as we can.

I don’t remember what Johnny wore on his feet the day of his first appointment. I think by then he had bought himself a pair of shoes in a larger size to accommodate his swollen feet, but I don’t remember if he came in wearing socks, slippers or flip-flops. I don’t think he walked in barefoot.

Johnny didn’t own any clothing beyond the basics: black jeans, black long-sleeved dress shirts, black socks, black leather shoes, a heavy black cotton sweater, a black knit watch cap, a black leather jacket and belt. He did have ties in red, green and purple, but he seldom wore a tie. To facilitate the doctor’s examination of his legs and feet, Johnny has taken a pair of scissors and cut off his oldest pair of jeans just below the knee, leaving a raggedy hem. Although he has shaved and showered and combed his silver hair, he looks tough and disreputable in the blue-chaired, carpeted suburban waiting room with his self-fringing pants. He sits as much as possible, getting to his feet only when he is called to the front counter to sign in as a self-paying patient. Today Johnny has no banter for the friendly front office staff and no energy to summon it. I don’t know what is going through his head, but I suspect it is a potent brew of hope, fear and shame, seasoned with foot pain. Johnny hates medical appointments and medical settings and medical terminology — only fear and pain would cause him to consult a doctor for any reason.

Doctor Hiatt greets Johnny with a smile and a firm handshake and introduces himself. Then he focuses on Johnny’s story, watching Johnny’s drawn face. To his credit, Johnny tells Dr. Hiatt that he had sat and slept slumped on a couch with his shoes on for the better part of several weeks before he had removed his shoes and found himself in pain. He tells him he had consulted a physician, who had prescribed an antibiotic cream and then recommended an additional consultation.

Dr. Hiatt listens. Then, as gently as he can, he examines Johnny’s swollen feet and calves.

“You have cellulitus. Your doctor gave you good treatment. He told you to do the right things. I would have done the same things. You are going to get better. What I’m going to do is wrap your legs and calves. The compression will help the swelling go down. When the swelling goes down, the pain will lessen.”

“I’ll prescribe some pain medication for you. And I’ll need to see you once a week for awhile. Do you have any questions?”

Johnny shakes his head. He does not like medical conversations. He does not want to talk about any of this. He just wants to walk pain-free the way he used to.

I listen carefully to everything the good doctor says, listening for telltale words such as “sepsis” and “necrosis.” Thankfully, I didn’t hear any of them. In true Harper fashion, Johnny has dodged a bullet.

Johnny doesn’t say much while Dr. Hiatt wraps his legs and feet, although he winces from time to time and shadows of pain cross his face. I can see that he is tired from the excursion. I do think he appreciates Dr. Hiatt’s positive attitude and he makes a follow-up appointment for the following week.

Dear Readers:

Some of you know that Johnny Harper was a storyteller. In a fictional experiment here I decided to tell a few stories that he told me. I have no way of knowing what he exaggerated (you know how storytellers are — they tell you what makes a good story), nor of verifying the events. I am sure that bits of the stories are true, but I am fictionalizing elements that I cannot know. Incidentally, my Grandmother Carroll used to say, “You’re a stinking storyteller,” meaning “You are lying.”

“Shhhh,”Johnny told his little brother David as they crept partway down the staircase in their cowboy pajamas. Johnny knew they were supposed to be in bed, but he couldn’t resist the sound of the party downstairs, the clinking glasses, the laughter and the sound of their father Art singing over his guitar:

“I ride an old paint,
I lead an old dan
I’m goin’ to Montana
For to throw the hooley-ann.”

Johnny didn’t know what a “hooley-ann” was, but he bet it was fun to throw. He hadn’t been roping or riding, but he heard cowboy stories on the radio and had begged bits of cowboy gear from his parents. At four, he already organized mock gun battles between him and his brother, but now he was intent on hearing all of the words to the song.

Long after David fell asleep in his own bed, Johnny lay awake, humming the tune he had heard and turning over the words in his mind:

“Ride around, little dogies,
Ride around real slow.
The fiery and the snuffy
Are rarin’ to go.”

Johnny was rarin’ to go himself the day his first grade teacher asked if anyone would like to sing a song for the class. He shot his hand into the air and strode up to the front of the classroom, where he opened his mouth and spun the long tale of how some drunken cowboys in the Sierra de-horned the devil, branded him and left him howling with his tail tied in knots.

Mrs. Teacher called Johnny’s mother Marian Lumsdaine to talk about that performance, not because of the surprising themes of rowdy behavior and drinking, but because Johnny had given a flawless account in eight long verses, singing in tune and keeping the attention of his classmates.

Marian Lumsdaine thanked Mrs. Teacher, but she was not surprised. Johnny had been memorizing songs since at least age three and singing bits of them at age two. She boasted of this one night at when she and her husband Art had friends over, colleagues from the psychological institute, friends in the foreign service, all people interested in aspects of human behavior. “Johnny sings beautifully.”

Tom Diplomat said, “Oh, come on, Marian, toddlers can’t sing.”

“Johnny can.”

“Two-year-olds don’t sing. Perhaps a bit of sing-song.”

“No, Tom. Johnny sings.”

“Sure he does.”

“Come with me, Tom.”

Marian put down her glass, stubbed out her cigarette in the beanbag ashtray, and rose from the blue tweed sofa, followed by Art and a couple of curious guests. Up the stairs she marched, flipping on the light in Johnny’s room to find him lying in bed staring at the ceiling, although she had put him to bed an hour ago.

“Johnny, will you sing us something, please?”

Johnny sat up, leaned against the headboard, cocked his head at the adults and began:

“As I walked out in the streets of Laredo.
As I walked out in Laredo one day…”

Marian flashed a smile at Tom. The others looked at each other, listening to the child who had only been walking himself for a year singing the recognizable melody in a high clear voice.

When Johnny finished, Marian nodded at him and said, “Thank you, Johnny. You try to get some sleep. I’m going to turn out your light now.”

She flicked the switch, leaving only the light of a nightlight plugged into the wall socket. The guests filed out of the room and back down the stairs as Marian softly closed the door.

Johnny is back on email after the Cur-ville festival. He contacts his bandmates and his former students and gets a disappointing email from a sound engineer he has been working with, who says that he will not work with Johnny professionally anymore. Johnny starts catastrophizing about the end of his career: really, he is hurt because he likes the sound guy a lot and thought all would be forgiven and life would resume as before. Johnny knows — this time he knows — that the loss of work is due to his months long bender.

But work is not all Johnny has lost. On August 23rd, 2013 I ask if we can make a plan to celebrate our first anniversary, two days hence. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” he says. I haven’t seen him in person since early June.

The following day he tells me that he cannot walk. Why? Because he kept his shoes on during his entire drinking bout and slept slumped over on the living room love seat with his feet on the floor. Johnny is a big guy: he can’t stretch out on the love seat or elevate his feet.When he finally removes his shoes after the over two months he has been sitting and sleeping there his feet have swollen, are tender and painful. He has consulted a doctor friend who has given him an antibiotic and some cream for his feet. When they do not improve in a week, his friend prescribes a painkiller and tells him he ought to see a podiatrist. Johnny does not invite me to come see him and I do not invite myself.

We will not see each other on our anniversary, which bums me out entirely. What good is it having a sentimental boyfriend if you cannot get together on your anniversary? All we will get to do is talk on the phone, Which we do: we are talking on the eve of our anniversary and decide we will stay up until midnight to commemorate the occasion. At midnight I say “Happy Platform Day”

“Happy Anniversary” says Johnny.

I email him the next morning to request that, since he is sending me a song to listen to every day, that he send me a romantic song for our anniversary. He responds by sending me “Devoted to You” by the Everly Brothers. He suggests that I learn the high part so that we can sing it together.

I never do.

On our anniversary we have another phone conversation in which Johnny says he has been staying up all night and sleeping during the day. His solution for getting back on a daylight working schedule is to drink coffee all day after staying up all night. I suggest instead that he open the curtains to his living room, allow light to come in, and let exposure to light adjust his circadian rhythm. He does not like this idea. And I remember, belatedly, that our chief relationship rule is that we do not tell each other what to do (Like any rule, both of us break this one sometimes, but we try to be mindful of it: we are both strong-willed people, apt to bridle and dig in our heels and to charge if necessary).

Three days after our anniversary I take a fall on brick steps while I am taking out the compost at my house. I have either sprained or fractured my right wrist. I make a medical appointment to have it checked out. The hand doctor does not find a fracture, but six days later, on September 4th, I am unable to play my guitar: playing aggravates my hand, arm and wrist, so I stop playing, stop earning money and start icing, elevating, resting and wrapping my wrist on a regular basis.

Now Johnny can’t walk and I can’t work. He spends hours practicing music and sends me songs to listen to, notes on particular artists and arrangements, reviews of albums. He has moved a small amp into his office so that he can play along with things he finds on the internet. I tell him about a few songs I like as well: James Keelaghan’s “Cold Missouri Waters” and Pierce Pettis’s song “Legacy.”

Johnny’s feet are not getting better. He is soaking his feet regularly and taking ibuprofen and the pain is keeping him up at night. Meanwhile I go to see an acupuncturist about the continued pain and swelling in my right wrist. We are quite a pair.

While we are convalescing and coping with our maladies I start talking to Johnny about the great British guitarist Richard Thompson. I give him lists of songs to listen to and he likes them all. Soon he is finding Thompson documentaries for me to watch. We will revisit Richard Thompson’s music many times down the road. I am pleased that Johnny likes Thompson’s music: Johnny is basically an American roots music specialist, whereas I skew toward music from the British Isles.

Three weeks after my fall I still cannot use my right wrist normally and Johnny’s feet are still swollen, itchy and painful. His friend Jeff, the M.D. who has been advising him and prescribing antibiotic cream, tells him again he ought to see a podiatrist. I know a wonderful podiatrist and surgeon who successfully treated an unresolved ankle sprain of mine after six years of unsuccessful efforts by others. I make an appointment for Johnny to see Dr. Hiatt on Monday September 23rd. I will accompany him to the appointment. I coach Johnny on what he’ll need for the medical exam: a list of all the medications he has been taking, what dosage, how long he has been taking them. I tell him that he must tell Dr. Hiatt the truth about how long he had his shoes on and what he was or was not doing during the period of time before he injured his feet.

Dear Readers,

I have recently had to assume a care-giving responsibility of unknown duration that will take me awhile to get my head around. I cannot tell you when I will have the time and space to write more Johnny and Sharyn stories (There are plenty more!). Thank you for reading. — Sharyn

A year after I followed Johnny up to the Cur-ville festival in Kenwood and heard his triumphant performance of “Burnin’ Up,” a year after he called me “the fabulous Sharyn,” a year after everyone I talked to at the festival told me what a great guy he was, I go back on my own to sing a small set at Cur-ville on a secondary stage. I have taught myself to play an accompaniment for my own song “Clueless,” which I had been relying on Johnny to play since I wrote it. I will perform it for whatever crowd I have while Johnny sits in San Leandro doing whatever he is doing. It is August and he has only made it out of the house since June to buy booze and to get himself a new phone charger, but he cuts his fingernails the day before my gig, which will allow him to start playing guitar again.

Busking has prepared me well for singing at Cur-ville. The stage is near a couple of food trucks, some small tables. People order their food, chat to each other. They are not listening to my lyrics, hanging on my every word.

The M.C. admires my vintage pawnshop Harmony guitar. People applaud when I sing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” Others look up when my friend Mary comes to the stage to sing a duet with me on “Morning Shanty.” Another performer sings a snatch of my “Wallflower Waltz” and says she has meant to learn it. I wish Johnny were present to hear my set, to comment on what he felt I did well.

My friends Mary and Alan give me a ride home so I get home at a decent hour. I am able to call Johnny. Reviewing the festival for him I say “Lots of chops, no taste.” Many of the musicians I have heard play can play and sing well, but their songs are forgettable. I, on the other hand, can write a memorable song, but have no chops. I fantasize about making a record with Johnny, either Johnny producing and playing on my next album, or perhaps making a duet record with him, but neither of us are making records today.

Johnny tells me he is drinking more water. His voice sounds stronger and more spirited. He expresses some interest in music performances, recordings and documentaries about musicians. He talks to me about the arrangements and personnel on Dale Geist’s record (Johnny produced it and is 99% happy with it). The fact that Johnny is talking about music shows me that he is on the mend.

In teaching myself to play “Clueless,” working out an accompaniment, I am learning what I will have to learn many times over: hanging out with a great musician can be fun and they can enhance your performances or arrangements if they are in the mood, but you still need to build your own skills, rather than relying on them for the hard bits.

A few days after my Cur-ville mini-set I am possessed by the desire to learn to play Richard Thompson’s “Walking on a Wire.” I know the song to sing it, but it is a minefield of hard chords to play: C# minor, G# minor, B major. If a song has just one chord I find hard to play, such as a B minor, I can work out a way to cheat the chord, or I can capo, in some cases, and play an A minor shape, which is easier, but there is no key in which I can sing Thompson’s song that will not require some difficult chords. I am limited by my inability to play barre chords, chords where you place your left index finger across all of the guitar strings and make the shapes of the chords with your other three fingers: it takes strength and practice to hold down a barre and get a clean sound on all the strings. Johnny, of course, when he is playing, can play any chord. He likes to call himself “a twelve-key man,” meaning he can play in any key anyone wants to play in.

Johnny suggests that I just play the root and the fifth of each chord instead of trying to play the whole thing. I try this out, but I don’t like the way it sounds, so I go back to the real chords. I can play two finger barre chords — just — where I can use both my index and middle fingers to hold down the strings, which means I can play F# minor and G# minor, but other chords require a full barre, so I decide I will practice barre chords for ten minutes a day.

I ask Johnny for tips on how to play barre chords and I also find some online information: someone says you use tiny muscles in your middle knuckle to play barre chords and recommends standing while curling and extending your fingers as fast as you can for a hundred repetitions. I have never tried this before. The online sage also mentions that no other thing you do in normal life works these knuckle muscles.

It turns out that ten minutes a day of barre chord practice is too ambitious for me: by the time I play for two minutes sweat is pouring off my forehead, my left hand is cramping both in the palm and at the base of the thumb and my forearm is hurting as well. I will have to practice two minutes five times a day to get ten minutes in.

On August 16th I get an email from Johnny. He is back to using his email and has contacted his bandmates and the Avonova venue and a recording studio. Good. Progress for Mr. Harper in reclaiming his life. He also starts the practice of sending me one song a day to listen to. Sometimes he sends me the words and some background on the song, sometimes just the link to a video. His first selection is “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”

Somewhere in this time period Johnny has actually quit drinking — he doesn’t send me an email saying “I’ve quit.” Instead, he sends me an email saying that he has been going through all of his old email from before he started isolating until now and he has had some really bad news. He says he is “in the kind of pain that sure would have sent me to the bottle.” He says he does not want to drink and he doesn’t know what else to do. He says there is nothing on T.V. and he can’t talk to me because I am at the Farmers’ Market singing for tips. He concludes, “Music is my refuge, I guess.”